This might take you 20 or so minutes but it is the most interesting read to come this way in far too long. Its 7 months old and some how slipped under the radar until now. Feel free to leave comments with your thoughts.
The Long Tail


96% Antheist and 92% Satanist


Remember on Family Guy when the Griffins seceded from the U.S.A. to form Petoria? While that actually happened once, minus the BBQ party of dictators and the giant nuke pointed directly at a single family 4-bedroom suburban home. Today's honorary TFS citizen is Dennis Wardlow. He was the mayor in 1982 when the city of Key West seceded from America to become The Conch Republic. It might have been a big one-day joke, but who else can say they gained independence as a jab at corrupt politicians?

Tomorrow is the annual independence day celebration. Put on your Panama hat, find some Whiteheads, and raise your fruity cocktail with a mini-umbrella in it to Mayor Wardlow.


Take a ride to my block


Harriet Klausner = most prolific Amazon.com reviewer. Approximately 9,000 if you're wondering.
Harriet Klausner = free books from publishers.
Harriet Klausner = a more boring home page than this one, if that's possible.
Cheers to Harriet. Feel free to not read books knowing that HK is taking care of business and tackling the problem.


A poor man's Kenny Baker

Ed & ALF
Continuing with people you might not know, please welcome...
Mihaly 'Michu' Meszaros, or to those who watched late 80's situation comedies Gordon Shumway a.k.a. ALF, is a Hungarian born actor. Not much is known about the lil' man who suited up as the wise-cracking house guest of the Tanner's. Sort of sucks for him that he didn't even do ALF's voice, all he did was suit up when they needed a scene of ALF walking. At first, the thought of catalogings the best Gordon Shumway moments, like when he hosted The Late Show, was exciting, but since Michu didn't do the voice or many of the actions, the projects been dropped. You know how actors are... don't want to go giving credit to the wrong person. Some of his other roles include Andy in Big Top Pee-wee, a stunt double in Look Who's Talking, and a few other roles requiring a dwarf. Small people might be scary and maybe not even have a reason to live if you believe Randy Newman, but its good to see one who made it big. Well, big for a lil' guy, not everyone can be Verne Troyer.
So today is Michu day, unfortunately its almost tomorrow already so Michu only gets about 5 minutes. Back tomorrow with another person you don't need to know but will probably want to remember for that obscure TP question.


"I am not young enough to know everything"

Rocky Dennis

This week is devoted to people you might not know but should.
Say hello to Rocky Dennis, 1964-1980. He's the unfortunate looking guy pictured above. Rocky not only suffered from the horrible and exceptionally rare disease Craniodiaphyseal Dysplasia, but also had the misfortunate of being immortalized in a Cher film. Granted the movie has modest reviews... but come on, Cher. Anyway, back to the Rock. Despite the disfiguring disease, Rocky had a consistently positive attitude and was probably a better person than you. If you can believe it Master Dennis even managed to snag himself a lil' lady friend with his winning personality- albeit she was certified blind (no joke, serious). The true romantic would respond, isn't love always? Was that your response? I guess the fact he rolled with bikers probably helped his rep. Imagine the girl was bullied into dating him and then ended up being a biker whore who sniffed coke before stripping for rooms full of horny college kids drunk on beer and Inferno shots... excuse the digression. The fact remains, if there's an award for world's most positive person, TFS'd vote for Rocky. Sadly, he died at the tender age of 16 after writing some great poetry and thereby ended a sad story that got the Cher-set weeping. Next time you feel like crying and watching a mediocre movie keep Rocky Dennis in mind.

Welcome Rock. TFS won't let your spirit die.
Ed note: facts are mostly from the Cher movie so they could be less than accurate


Not just at risk of STIs



Last Dog
If you've never been asked if you want the last hot dog you've yet to experience life.



you feel it is okay to do business as follows, and not phone back/return numerous emails then you should probably check yourself.

-single ring-
You: "Hello"
Not You: "Hi xxxx? It's xxxx."
You: "Hi xxxx, listen I am so busy I can't even talk. I'll call you back."
Not You: "Ok, but..."
You: -click-
Not You: "I hate you!"


Looking Out For Da Homies

Looking Out

This week's time wasters:

1- The New Junkbot
2- Mini Track Mania


Find anything?


Apologies if you ordered an update last week and never got served.

Slurring drunk, one shawarma, one smoked meat sandwich, sobered up and in bed before midnight... Probably has something to do with $2 beer during happy hour- well I guess happy evening given it lasts from 3-8.


Introducing E----- F-----

Street Walker

Please welcome TFS's new foreign correspondent E----- F-----. He's a private sonofabitch and asked that not much be revealed about him. You can know he travels more than you, he gets into trouble, and he's arrogant. Big things were expected from his first dispatch... Instead you can read what he sent. Can someone get their column pulled after one entry? Thanks Ex.

Hello readers. Welcome to the first of my monthly entries for the blog with a stupid name (seriously, what were you thinking?). Spain is a land of beautiful lovelies, cheap wine, and general vibrancy. Its also the land of street walkers along Las Ramblas in Barcelona. This is an interview I conducted with the lass from the picture early one morning after fruitlessly trolling the clubs for a piece of ass.

Street Walker: Hola!
Me: I guess you'll do. How much to suck my dick?

Street Walker: 40.
Me: I've give you 15.

Ta for now readers.

-ed. note, Ex didn't actually send a pic, and yes the above is exactly what he sent.