10.3.05

Beaming From Warden Ave

Ryan1

Day two and ladies panties are already getting blown off with hardhitting, serious journalism. The man with a baboon heart, an iron grip on the microphone, and a former love of CRXs is putting his shirt on, taking a break from licking his nipples to sit down for a brief chat.

TFS: Any feelings about being known as 'The Artist Formerly Known as Freestyle"?
TAFKAF: As most people know I have a huge issue with this one part of my past haunting me still, but to be completely honest the days of “Free”, “The Freeze”, and “Styles” were all good times, but if I hear anyone using it today you know what you’ll get, just ask Officer Maybee, I think he is emotionally scarred from the angry outburst he received...The Freeze lives on in all of us…don’t you forget that.

TFS: What's all the business about having a baboon heart?
TAFKAF: The baboon heart stems from years of heart problems that reared their ugly head big time in 99’.  After a short hospital stay my heart was completely removed and replaced with that of a very rambunctious baboon named Mr. Tickles.  Not a day goes by that I don’t thank Mr. Tickles for the second chance he has given me, as a side note I still have his stuffed monkey mounted above my bed to keep me safe and save me from the girl from the ring while I sleep.

TFS: I always figured dressing up as Mr. Peepers was a way to sooth your inner monkey.
TAFKAF: Dressing as Mr. Peepers was to show my inner love for Mr. Tickles, and yes, to sooth my inner monkey (aka baboon heart).

TFS: Of all the things in your checkered past, give one you'd take back if you could and the one you're most proud of?
TAFKAF: Hmmmmm...this is a thought provoker...well let’s say, Football head? No...has to be Leslie as a taker backer...most proud of, well Jess, but less of part of my checkered past, more of the aftermath of which.

TFS: Top 5 hip-hop jams?
TAFKAF: In no particular order...(and I don’t know if I could say top 5, but 5 of my all time favorites)
Method Man – Bring the Pain
Nas – The Message
Mobb Deep – Shook Ones Pt.2
Notorious BIG – The What
Outkast – Rosa Parks


TFS: Any closing thoughts or excuse me, 'shout outs'?
TAFKAF: Keep the sand out of your vagina, watch Requiem for a Dream, and bros before hoes...

Much thanks to our stand-in simian friend for granting the interview, being a good sport and dealing with some of those hard issues that keep his liver soaked in rye. Be on the look out for a future interview with an above referenced upholder of the law- yep, I am calling out the man with the biceps the rest of us can only see in magazines.

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